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Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Ok i have a question for all of you folks out there with multiple children with DS and typical developing children...

WE are currently struggling with some things. Lily knows that something is "different" with the girls in some areas but is quick to tell you...giovanna talks just fine and giovanna and bella can do this and that just great... But Gabby doesnt "get it"... so my question is this...

How do you help your "typical" child understand that sometimes the sibling needs extra help to understand something, or needs extra one on one to "get it"?


Why they dont get a trophy at the Down Syndrome Buddy walk because they also walked, and all three of their sisters do? This is tough!

So for one of my readers out there who's question was....

How do you handle the differences with your girls and how do you help Lily understand that they need extra help?
I DONT KNOW...this is a struggle for us. This year at our Buddy walk I think was much harder. She questioned why she did not get a trophy? Well how do you make her understand that we are there for DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS and she doesnt have DS? BUT all her sisters do! hmmm...SUGGESTiONs please! I know that in time, say the next 4 years she will begin to understand, but now....what do you do? WE strive to give each of our girls the same rules, the same one on one, the same consequences but William and I both know that the three with Ds need "extra" help..


4 nice people had this to say:

Molly said...

At our buddy walk we gave ALL kids under 12ish a medal, and all people with DS. I don't blame her for being annoyed she didn't get a trophy. That's a big deal to a little kid, and thus why you can't give just SOME kids one. It's gotta be all or none.

do you have any books about kids with ds? You may want to get "we'll paint the octopus red" or one of those books to help her understand shes not the only one with siblings like this, and here's what it means..

Allison said...

This is definitely a struggle for us too. Jalen is fully understanding of it and does really well but our little ones don't get it at all and it makes things really tough. I will be very interested to see the answers you get on this as we could use the help in this area too.

Stephanie said...

Helping understand the different abilities is an easy one. Ask her if she can do something as well as someone else she knows her age.. like can she swim across the pool? No, but so and so can. we all develope differently and somethings are easier for some people and harder for others. We are all special and we all do things in our own unique ways and on our own schedules. As far as teh trophy goes, I think all siblings should get a trophy if they want one... they are living with down's syndrome too and are probably someone thier biggest advocates.

wvamom said...

Our kiddos are older now--but I have to say, there were times when our two "typical" girls were jealous of our son with ds. Like when they got 1 donut for each A on their report card at Krispy Kreme, but the sympathetic worker there let our son pick out half a dozen donuts of any kind he wanted, despite having no A's on his report card!

I don't know--I think children should learn that they don't always get exactly the same thing, as long as it evens out long-term. Then you can remind them, "This is his (or her) special event--remember when you did (this or that?) and you got (this or that) and he/she did not?

it's especially tough for you with the Buddy Walk, I know, because you have 1 typical kid and 3 with ds, where we have 1 with ds and 4 typical kids.

I know it's hard for Lily to understand, but she will have lots of opportunities for awards and recognition as time goes on.